It can be hard to know what is appropriate to give someone who is experiencing a miscarriage.
If you’re reading this article, chances are that you know someone who has recently had a miscarriage.
As someone who had three miscarriages in a single year, I know that the people around me had a really hard time knowing how to support me in my grief.
In this article, I’ll give some tips for supporting a loved one while they are grieving a miscarriage.
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What to give to a friend or loved one that has had a miscarriage?
Before sending any gift, I think it is important to think about the person that you’re buying the gift for.
While some may be super appreciative of a gift, others may wish to not have any attention given to their loss. Everyone grieves differently.
That said, if you know the person who has had a miscarriage well and you’re sure that they would be appreciative of the thought behind giving a gift, below are some ideas!
I’d love to stress here that some of the most meaningful things that we received in the aftermath of our miscarriages were heartfelt cards that expressed how sorry our loved ones were for our loss. I truly don’t think that you need to spend a lot of money to make your loved one feel your support.
Miscarriage Remembrance or Memorial Jewelry
Having these pieces of jewelry that memorialize my lost babies make me feel like I have a tangible thing to hold onto.
I can’t say enough good things about Christina and she’s become an amazing friend during my secondary infertility journey.
Care Package Specifically Designed for Comfort & Healing
I was so excited to work with them because this gift is such a unique product and the way that every piece of the kit is presented is well-thought-out and truly comforting.
The kit comes with “Seeds of Hope” which are Forget-Me-Not flowers, “Healing Heart Mist” which is aromatherapy spray, and a candle. Each piece is absolutely beautiful.
Beautiful Handcrafted Items From Etsy
If you’re looking for a super personalized gift for your loved one experiencing a miscarriage, a great place to look is Etsy.
Many of the sellers that have shops on Etsy are happy to do custom orders and you’ll surely be able to find just what you’re looking for.
Here are a few general categories of gifts that you could find on Etsy:
Is it appropriate to send flowers to someone who has had a miscarriage?
While I am definitely not the queen of etiquette, I can say that I would have appreciated receiving flowers when we lost each of our three babies to miscarriage.
Sending flowers has always been a universal kind gesture when a person is grieving a loss, so sending a boutique to a loved one who has lost their baby will likely be a touching gesture.
What to do for someone who has had a miscarriage?
If you’re not looking for a gift, here are a few ideas for things that you can do to help your loved one feel supported as they grieve a miscarriage:
- Bring them food, either purchased or homemade. When you’re grieving, it can be hard to find the energy to cook.
- Take their child(ren) for a few hours. Grieving and having to take care of your child or your children can be difficult because grief is absolutely exhausting. It can also make you feel extremely guilty to have them see you cry.
- Just listen. Unless you’ve been through a miscarriage, it can be hard to know what to say. However, you can never go wrong by offering to listen to your loved one when they feel like talking about their grief. If you need to say something, “I’m so sorry for your loss,” is the best thing to say. Avoid any sentence that starts with “at least” and check out this article for more things you’ll want to avoid saying to someone who has had a miscarriage.
- Offer to get them out of the house. Be sure to listen to your loved one if they aren’t quite ready to leave the house. Sometimes staying home really is what is best. However, offering to do something like see a movie or get a pedicure may be a welcome outing.
What do you write on a card for a miscarriage? What can I say instead of sorry for your loss?
When it comes to knowing what to say to someone who has just had a miscarriage, it can feel intimidating and there are definitely a few things you should avoid saying.
However, when it comes right down to it, a person who has just experienced a miscarriage has just experienced a death. To the greater world, it may not be seen as a loss, but to the mom or dad that is grieving, they are grieving their lost child.
Try to put yourself in this mindset and think about what you’d want to hear. If you can’t think of anything else to say or you’re uncomfortable, simply write, “I am so sorry for your loss,” and keep it at that.
I hope that these tips provided you with a few tips for showing your loved who is experiencing a miscarriage that you care.