MISCARRIAGE

Miscarriage, Stillbirth & Infertility Series – Part Two

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When I had my first miscarriage in January of 2017, I shared my story on the blog and with my community on Instagram. In the weeks that followed, I experienced so much love from strangers and heard so many personal stories of miscarriage, stillbirth, and infertility. It was truly inspiring.

The kindness that I received, along with the knowledge that not everyone feels comfortable enough to share their story and get support in their daily lives inspired me to ask others if they would be brave enough to share their story with the world.

It is my hope that these stories will help people experiencing miscarriage, stillbirth or infertility feel a little less alone.

This is part two of the series, but you can check out all of the stories here!

Please note that some individuals have requested to remain anonymous, so there will be no name accompanying their story.

Story #6

I’ve been following your story for a few weeks now. My friend actually suggested I look your Instagram up, since I had also gone through a miscarriage in January of this year.

It was mine and my husband’s first pregnancy. I started spotting at about 6 weeks. I called my OB’s office right away but they said everything sounded normal, and that unless I was soaking a pad or bent over in pain I would not need to be seen. After a day and half my spotting turned to bleeding and my husband and I went to the ER. They diagnosed me with a threatened miscarriage but unfortunately by the end of the night I had miscarried. 

We were devastated but eager to try again. After my follow up appointment (with a new OB office) my doctor suggested we wait one cycle before trying again, so that’s what we did. I found out I was pregnant in March. 

Unfortunately, a couple of weeks ago at our ultrasound appointment, we found out the baby was not developing and I would be miscarrying again. After discussing options, I opted to take medication to try and start the process planned but as naturally as I could. Unfortunately, after taking medication twice over two weeks my doctor recommended having a D&C, since the medication wasn’t working fully and I was experiencing a lot of bleeding.

We are planning to have testing done in a few weeks once my hormones are evened out per my doctor, and were advised to wait one cycle again before trying.

Having a miscarriage was something I knew could happen but never really thought would. Let alone happen twice. I know there are so many people out there with story’s similar to mine. Your Instagram has really helped me to see that and not feel as alone. 

-Ashley

Story #7

This was my first pregnancy after trying for 3 months. I told my husband on his birthday with a baby grow and the positive test. We were thrilled and told our family the next day. I was 5 weeks.

The week after, my husband has a party in the house for his 30th birthday. Later on in the night, I went to the toilet and there was some spotting. I panicked and tried not to cry knowing friends who were in the house didn’t know I was pregnant. Through the night I became obsessive about going to the toilet to see how heavy the blood was.

At 1 am when everyone left I went to our bedroom and cried. I rang the out of hours doctors (in the UK) and they told me I was having a threatened miscarriage or I was having a miscarriage and to stay in bed and relax and then ring the doctor on Monday (two days later) for a viability scan. I searched online for any glimpse of a positive outcome and it didn’t look good. I barely slept that night. In the morning the blood was A LOT heavier and in my heart, I knew that I had lost the baby.

The next day my best friend came round to console me and we went to the hospital to get a definitive answer as I couldn’t cope waiting another few days. The hospital asked me to do a pregnancy test and the results were negative. Looking back if I knew it was as easy as taking another test then I would have just done this myself but that seemed like too much of an easy answer. I was told to go home and rest.

On Monday I didn’t go to work and went to the doctors. My doctor is amazing and has been through this herself and so has her daughter so knows what it feels like. She organized a scan for me to completely rule any doubt out of my mind. That Wednesday I went for an internal scan and told my womb was empty.

I sat in the car and I broke down.

This being my first pregnancy I was naive and believed that miscarriage wouldn’t happen to me, it happens to other people and not me. But it did happen and it happened to me.

I lost my baby at 6 weeks, it’s been 4 weeks since this happened. My first period following the pregnancy is due any day and I’m dreading it! It’s just another reminder that I’m not pregnant and I won’t be having the baby that I’ve dreamed of.

As we’re trying to conceive I’m also waiting for this period to be over and done with so we can try again and I can be pregnant again.

On the one hand, I really want a baby and can’t wait to be pregnant and have all the horrible symptoms cause that means it’s real but on the other hand I’m petrified of this happening again cause I dont know how I’ll cope with this grief again.

I had two weeks off work and went back with a fake smile as only a small number of people knew why I was off work.

In the weeks that have followed, I’ve cried with my parents, husband, and friend. I’ve not been public with the miscarriage because I’m not sure if I can cope with the questions that will follow like how and why and when.

I still think about this every day and haven’t gone more than 4 or 5 days without crying.

I know it will get easier, but just not yet.

-Sarah-Louise

Story #8

Our second baby took almost 3 years to conceive, we are young and healthy and thought it would happen quickly – but it didn’t.

When we eventually did have appointments for the fertility doctors I got a positive pregnancy test! I hadn’t had many periods, and my last was July before spontaneously ovulating in October! We were thrilled!

In the UK, you have bloods done after your 12-week scan which was Dec 27th. On January 2nd (my mother’s 50th birthday) I got a call to say there was a 1:2 chance my baby had severe chromosome abnormalities. It was the first day back to work of the year and my husband had been back maybe 5 hours – when I called him to come home. Those few weeks were full of awful tests, specialist appointments and finally surgery to remove the baby.

It was devastating.

But by some miracle it reset my periods, my PCOS is under control with taking Inisotol and I’m pregnant again! Crossing my fingers and toes for a healthy happy baby.

Story #9

May/June 2015

I was turning 22 on Memorial Day weekend so we decided to celebrate with some friends by going camping at the lake near our house. We had a wonderful time grilling out, riding the boat and inner tube, sitting by a fire – just doing the typical holiday weekend summer activities.

That night, I was talking with my friend about how much her babies had grown, how she found out she was pregnant, etc. and then it hit me.

I was late.

I didn’t panic because honestly, I had never had regular periods. Being late was not out of the ordinary for me.

Sure enough that next morning, I took a positive pregnancy test. We were shocked, but happy. We would be celebrating our 2 year wedding anniversary that August.

We broke the news to close family that Sunday. On Monday, I made an appointment to confirm the pregnancy. I was estimated to be around 5-6 weeks. Wow!!! I was really pregnant!

Monday night, I started cramping. Not just a little cramp here and there. It was bad. Think your worst period cramps x 10.

I went to the bathroom, doubled over in pain, and there was some very mild spotting. Dr. Google indicated that some spotting was very normal. The next morning, there was full-on blood. Medium tinted.

Then the panic set in.

I went to work that day and the cramps and bleeding worsened. I drove to my family physician and she ordered labs and an ultrasound at our local hospital.

In tears and scared to death, I made my way up the road, getting pulled over for the first time ever in the process. Thankfully the cop was super nice and understanding. He asked if I needed to be driven and told me to be careful.

The transvaginal ultrasound indicated there was no pregnancy. The tech apologized and asked, “Are you sure you’re pregnant?” I was in shock. Multiple pregnancy tests and confirmation of pregnancy, I was pretty sure.

She said I could be miscarrying or I could just be too early to tell.

I left the hospital and went straight to a store to buy two more tests: both very positive.

The next day I went to another hospital close by. The OB and a practicing student looked at the previous ultrasound pictures and the labs I had taken that day. She turned back around with a frown on her face; I knew it was bad news. She explained to me that I was, in fact, pregnant, but more than likely I was experiencing a chemical miscarriage.

She scheduled me to come back in 2 days to check the labs again. My heart sank. How could this be? I JUST found out I was pregnant the day before my birthday, which was 4 days before this appointment, and now I was already losing the baby?

I was so confused and hurt. Of course, the questions started going through my head immediately. I called my husband, who had been working out of town, to let him know what was happening. We were devastated.

The bleeding and cramping were terrible over the next couple of days and nights. Lots of dark blood and some tissue. I was certain now that my short-lived pregnancy was nearing the end.

I went back to the OB on Friday and all speculations were confirmed; I had miscarried. My levels were already back to 0 and the miscarriage was complete. No D&C was needed. I always say that week was one of the worst weeks of my life.

My husband and I were shocked at the thought of bringing life into the world, but we were excited. We both loved kids and knew we wanted some one day. To be excited for something like that, only to have it ripped away from you so soon, is heartbreaking. Nothing prepares you for that kind of pain; mentally and physically.

I know things could have been a lot worse for us, but it still hurts. Losing a baby hurts no matter what the situation.

After actively trying for a year, we finally got pregnant and now have a beautiful 2.5-year-old daughter. Going through a miscarriage is brutal, but we all need support in that time of sadness. I am glad that more women are coming together to tell their story and let their voice be heard. I AM 1 in 4.

-Kayla Prater

Story #10

Our journey started about two years ago.

We weren’t planning on starting to try for a baby yet, but both of my grandparents passed away exactly two weeks apart. It hit me really hard and we decided why wait?

So in June of 2017, I was off of birth control and we were actively trying, oblivious to the world of infertility and miscarriage.

In November of that year I felt off, I just knew I was pregnant.

So, the day my period was due I took a test and it was positive. Four days later, I started bleeding and we lost it. It was a weird feeling because even though it was a loss, it was so early and I didn’t feel worthy of calling it a miscarriage.

I went on to have two more chemical pregnancies just like it in April and May of 2018.

At that point, I begged my doctor for answers. I had a panel of bloodwork done and we found I had an MTHFR gene mutation so she changed a few things in my vitamin regimen, guaranteed I’d be pregnant within three months and sent me on my way.

I was not pregnant within three months and I was devastated.

We were referred to a fertility specialist and started a new journey in November of 2018. More panels of bloodwork on my husband and me, and an HSG test told us my thyroid was high, but nothing else came up.

I was put on thyroid meds and once that was regulated, we started medicated cycles with Clomid + Ovidrel. It took three cycles and I got pregnant.

At my 8 week ultrasound, there was no heartbeat and the baby was measuring small. We were told I would miscarry. A week later, still no heartbeat and no growth.

It was over.

Upon receiving some test results after the miscarriage, I was told my chances of miscarrying again are about 60-70%. We are now faced with the decision of continuing as we have been, or trying IVF, where PGS would take our chances of miscarrying down immensely.

-Erika

Be sure to check out all of the stories here.

If you would like to share your story, please click here. Thank you!

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